Sunday, July 03, 2005

Comfortable Sorrow

I'm still standing on a strong foundation.
So why do I feel like I'm falling?

I've been seemingly re-breaking my heart -- which I believe has been mending itself back together with the help of time, patience, and hope.

I wonder how much we are capable of living a life parallel to the one we dreamed to have. At night, I sit here and vicariously live my moments of another world. Most of the time, I close the book on it. Then there are those passing minutes like right now, when I remember it all: where I came from, the entirety of me, and the passions I have creeping in shadows within.

For the past day I've allowed myself to cocoon -- sitting in an unsocial atmosphere and surrounding myself with a false environment of past becoming present. I am happy here. I feel the comfortable sorrow of love lost and nothingness.

I'm delaying the moments of tomorrow, when I'll have to wake up to the harsh reality of what my life is now: realistic, righteous, and happy. My world now is filled with wise choices, responsibility, and joy.

So why am I longing for a chaotic past?