Portland Awaits Us!

I'm SOOOOO excited about visiting Portland in a couple weeks! Corey and I will be there for a total of about TWO days only! Ack!

There are a few things we will have to do while there:
1. Celebrate my nephew's birthday and baptism
2. Hang out with the family
3. Welcome home our missionary, Sister Ceci Quintenilla
4. Stop by a house or two
5. Meet up with Corey's sister for dinner
6. See as many friends as we can
7. Make a mad dash for Burgerville
***All Hail Chocolate Hazelnut Milkshakes***

Random Realizations

*Crystal Gayle, singer of "Don't Make My Brown Eyes Blue" (and my most favorite long ago)... has blue eyes

*I have just as many dates now as I did when I didn't have a boyfriend. (the woes of long distance relationships)

*The Geico commercials may very well be the best ever. The Little Richard one ("woo hoo! look out! look out!") makes me laugh EVERY time.

*And this is a theory I'm debating right now... I think you might be able to save a bad sequel by making it into a trilogy. The same goes for shows that hit bad seasons. (I bet "Desperate Housewives" is hoping my theory is correct!)

Could you please add some fabulous random realizations to my list?

Financial Freedom!

So.

I'm trying to work on being less pessimistic.
But then again, what's the point?

HA! That's funny. I came up with that last night and it's still making me laugh. I'm so glad I have myself to entertain myself.

Anyway, it's true. I just have negative feelings about my negative feelings. Y'know? I think I'm typically upbeat and hopeful. But then there are just some elements of my life that really bring out those deep insecurities. I guess we're all that way, but I'd like to bring that positive, "sunshiney" attitude into my whole life. Let me know if you have any tips.

The real reason I'm writing is to discuss my budget. I've put myself on a debt diet and am quickly working my way to pay off my credit card.
Typically I'm one of those really annoying people who is extremely diligent about money. I actively invest in my retirement and savings, I pay off my credit cards right away, and I allow myself a lot of "cushion" for those just-in-case moments. But last year, I got into a bit of a bind. "How could that be?" you ask. I was going to grad school for free for cryin' out loud! But my living expenses in New York and a few other unexpected payments increased my credit card well above where it had ever been. YIKES! Not too much, but by my personal standards, lots.

For the past few months I've been paying and paying and paying. And although it's decreased a lot, I still plateau at a certain amount. Emergencies such as cats falling out windows, dogs with UTIs, and cars with problems added to the burden. So a few weeks ago I decided enough was enough. I wanted to take my life back and kick my credit card balance to the curb!

I've been really lucky. Since it's right around the new year and lots of people are making resolutions to pay off debts, lots of tv shows and articles are spewing money-saving tips. And I'm eating them up! Plus, my church is doing a series of workshops on debt and personal finance. The stars are aligned in my favor.

Here's what I'm doing:
1. I get paid every week. And since my hours are irregular, I figure at this point I'm not living month-to-month but instead, week-to-week. So I made a list of my monthly bills, divided them by four, and set those numbers aside as "necessary payments."
2. Then I deduct a huge chunk for my debt. For now, I'm paying my credit card every week instead of once a month. This way, I don't trick myself by seeing a huge amount in my bank account and thinking I have more than I really do.
3. The remaining is my "allowance." Ouch. Deducting a whole bunch for debt leaves me with very little some weeks. My allowance includes food. Going out to eat is a luxury for me. But I think my luxury has turned into a bad habit. So my debt diet is now forcing me to look at my food diet. I eat pretty well, but now I'm actually preparing meals on my own and brown-bagging it. I'm actually enjoying it! As long as I don't look at this as punishment and instead see it as an opportunity to learn a new skill -- I'm all good.
4. I write everything down that I buy. That's everything. Even vending machines (which I no longer use!) and my laundry.

I'm taking this process week-by-week and am trying not to put too much pressure on myself. But it's good to be aware!

I also did the one thing today that I was nervous about doing. I called my credit card company and asked for a lower rate. Hey, Oprah's people recommend it, so it should work! And they lowered my rate by four points! Very exciting. It doesn't hurt to ask!

Once again, it makes me think of the wonderful advice given by an old boss of mine:
If you don't ask, the answer is always "no."

I'm really grateful for the financial freedom I'm giving myself. It's kind of exciting to see the different ways I can save money. And thank goodness for New York. Even though it's so expensive, there's always stuff around that's for free. Plus, I've been working so much lately that I haven't even had time for entertainment. [I'm looking at the overtime as a good thing for my finances instead of a hindrance on my social life]

I've also noticed that once I decide to prioritize on one thing, all of my other priorities fall into place. I guess it's all about balance. Including balancing my checkbook.
It's good stuff.

If I keep this up, I should have all this paid off in April! Ah! Freedom!
Let me know if you have any saving savvy tips for me!

New Year, New Attitude

Y'know, I know a lot of people aren't into resolutions. But I am. In fact, I think I'm constantly in a state of resolving and evolving my life.

This year, I'm trying to keep things simple. I seek balance in my life.

How come the most simple goals can appear to be the most difficult?

10 Years Later

It's incredible for me to think about the fact that I began this post nearly a year ago and have since saved it in draft form. It's even funnier for me to read the first line I wrote:
I've been thinking about this post for a few months.

As we moved into the year 2006, I remember thinking that it would be a year filled of mile-markers for me. Ten years after my father died. Ten years after my heart was broken. Ten years after much strain and strife. And ten years after my attempts to end it. My heart crumbled and my soul splintered.

I've gone through my old drafts of this blog post and have discovered some growth throughout this past anniversary year. So I continue with a very edited version of what I first wrote in the beginning of 2006.

Since then, I've been in a mode of survival and recovery.

When I celebrated my 28th birthday last year, I knew that this year would be significantly different. I knew that I would look at everything with a different perspective; I would look at it through the eyes of an 18 year old girl who was finally healing.

I feel very blessed that I was born on December 21st for many, many reasons. But one of my most favorite reasons is this opportunity of reflection, synchronized with the major annual events of Christmas and New Year's. I love thinking! Reflecting! Growing! And what a wonderful opportunity I've been given by being born on the first day of winter. The day marking the shortest day of the year, when every day after gets just more and more glimmers of light beaming onto our lives. The day marking the death of old things to make room for the new.
It's just one more reason why I feel as if I'm among the luckiest alive.

And of course, there are many more reasons.

I'm one of those people who really loves those end-of-the-year Christmas newsletters from friends. It's great to see all the changes people go through in such a short amount of time. For instance, my friend Jennie had a baby, bought a house, and her husband graduated from school (congrats Tom!). It was a huge year for them! And I think that many of my friends and family have had similar excitements or changes. It's so great to see how everything evolves if we allow change to happen and breathe into our lives.

This year I've tried to do a lot of that. But change is hard, isn't it? I finally got to a point very early this year when I was ready for major overhaul. Beginning with my heart! Grad school had already humbled me significantly by remodeling my brain. It was now time to take on another project!

So in a nutshell, here's my year: I went back into therapy. I graduated from a top-notch grad school. I made it to network television. I packed up my house. I drove across the country. I took risks. And I fell in love with a wonderful man!
These are major accomplishments for me that somehow I forget unless I take some moments to reflect. And for that I'm grateful.

I'm grateful for the moments of reflection. The moments when I feel as if I'm absolutely going to lose it. And the hope of getting better and better with each year.

This is far from how I intended this post to look. And as you know, I'm terribly hard on myself and seek perfection in many things. But I'm posting this in a revised draft form, without finishing touches. Because, like me, it's still a work in progress.

It's time to continue moving forward.