Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Something to Chew On...

When I was a kid, I didn't know that jelly came in any other flavor than grape. In fact, when I was first introduced to the strawberry variety, I was wary to give it a try.
I can remember vividly sitting with my friend, Brian Abner, as his mother would make us sandwiches after pre-school. I requested the mine be made with the jelly on top.
Brian wanted his on the bottom.
He also wanted his cut in squares.
Me? I wanted mine cut into four triangles. I thought it had more "surface area."
I have no idea if I actually knew what the term "surface area" meant at that time, but for some reason the claim made sense to me. I would eat my sandwich happily with a smarty-pants smile on my face, while Brian had to suffer his way through his square-shaped mockery of a meal.
He, of course, thought I was nuts.

Today. My inner child and adult neuroses have been validated.

Check out this information I found out:
The most important issue in cutting a sandwich is the resulting crust ratio of the bread. I have found a way to reduce the crust ratio on a sandwich without cutting off and disposal of the crust. Cutting off the crust would be wasteful. Now the assumption I made is that the bread slice is approximately a square. If the bread is not a square then the following argument and calculations still hold, it would just be more difficult to prove.
You see, if you cut the bread into four pieces by bisecting each side of the whole sandwich orthogonally then the resulting pieces each have four sides. Two of the sides have crust. Therefore each smaller sandwich piece is 50% crust.
But, if you cut the sandwich into four pieces by cutting the whole sandwich along the two diagonals then each resulting piece has only three sides. Only one of the sides has crust. But that crust side is longer than each of the two remaining sides. Assuming that the length of the two shorter non-crust sides are 1 unit each, then Pythagora's Theorem tells us that the crust side is 1.414 units long. The total circumference would be 3.414 units long. Thus this smaller sandwich piece is 41% crust.
Therefore the sandwich cut along the diagonal has 9% less crusty sandwich pieces! That is an improvement. The conclusion is we must all cut along the diagonal and our society will enjoy less crust in our lives and hopefully more meat.
source: damon4.com

For a long time I was a die-hard fan of creamy Jif. In fact, I would keep a jar in my desk at work. It caused such an interest in the newsroom that there ended up being a divide among us: those who were for creamy versus those who favored the crunchy. We even used our polling agency to survey the northwest: Which is better? Creamy or Crunchy?

The debate even continued further in our office to fighting over Jif v. Adams (a natural brand).
Today, I use the natural peanut butter. But I'm sticking with the creamy version. How about you?

Another important PB&J moment to be remembered:

Bender: PB&J with the crusts cut off. Well Brian. This is a very nutritious lunch. All the food groups are represented. Did your mother marry Mr. Rogers?
Brian: Uh. No. Mr. Johnson.