One of the many things I love about my friends is their willingness to dream, conquer, and inspire. I have no idea how I became so lucky.
Here's a copy of an email I wrote to Lumina yesterday. I wanted to share it with you because, well, it just goes to show how we tend to inspire each other without even knowing it. Plus, it shows what's going on inside my head lately.
I just posted a comment on your blog about your I AM AN ARTIST entry.
I just want to let you know how grateful I am for you, your art, your fearlessness for your craft, and for your daringness to do what scares the hell out of you.
You are courageous. You are defiant! You are an artist!
I started singing lessons a few weeks ago. And I think I'm going to begin acting classes again. I'm SO SCARED. I'm scared because I used to be good. I used to believe in myself. I used to take risks. But I was never good ENOUGH. I could only allow myself to plumb just deep enough so that a character was sufficient. But didn't take the risks I needed to make my characters real, survive, breathe, feel as if true flesh... any of it. And I'm scared. I'm scared because I know if I go back into this that I can't do it half-assed. I know I owe those characters part of me. I know I owe it to myself to take those risks. And I know that it will make me different. It will set me apart. It will bring out my insecurities. It will make me feel imperfect. It will make me realize that sometimes, I don't do everything wonderfully well.
And then there will be those moments. Those rare moments when the world of art and reality collide. When you feel as if time has stopped and locked you into an unknown universe -- a place where dreams exist. A place you never want to leave in that instant. And I think it's those moments of actual artistry that I fear. The ultimate escape. The ultimate high. The ultimate point of intimacy.
That's reality.
And I know, more than anything, that that's why I need to take the risk, tear myself down once again, and just dive.