Friday, February 22, 2008

Melinda's Wedding

I first met Melinda at a wedding. It was my brother's wedding -- a million years ago. She was 8, happy, perky, fun -- and had this fantastic booming red hair. And honestly, things have not changed much for her over the past 15 years. She still lights up a room with her exuberance. She still magnifies joy in even the smallest delights. And she still makes everyone around her feel as if they're the most important person in her life. I admire her so much!

But on her wedding day, I was able to see something a bit different... something that made her even more smiley than before -- Melinda IN LOVE!

Oh my word! Melinda was the most beautiful bride! And Jonathan -- the perfect adoring groom! So I introduce you to the happy newlyweds!
Congratulations!!! You're a beautiful couple!




Tuesday, February 19, 2008

My Valentine

I suppose I should start by telling you that this will be a sappy, lovey-dovey post. But whatever. I don't care. Share with my joy today, k? :)

So I had a really great Valentine's day. It started out with a knock on the door from my Valentine, who proceeded to make me breakfast.


mmmm.... yum! I think this was pretty much the best breakfast surprise ever.

Then I had a lovely day at work (which might seem uneventful to you, but I'm grateful that I really enjoy things in life, including my really cool job).

I came home and Valentine had been sneaky -- getting the keys from my dog walker (a friend of mine) and having these waiting for me on the table.


Yep. That's a dozen roses... and lilies. [The roses are now starting to wilt, but the lilies all popped open to announce their grandeur yesterday. Oh yes... and you're counting correctly. That's three posts on flowers I've made lately. I will probably not annoy you with any more. You can request pictures via email from now on if you prefer.]

We then made some yummy dinner. Now... I suppose when I say we made dinner, what I really mean is, I watched as he cooked for me. I set the table, ate, cleaned the dishes, looked pretty... I mean, someone's gotta do that part!

So yes. That's what I did Valentine's Day... and it pretty much indicates how I've been spending the rest of my spare time lately.
And that's as full a public report as I'll be giving. You'll just have to find out the rest of the details by asking me somewhere else...

Thursday, February 07, 2008

1-1-1 and other Dating Philosophies

Ok class.
We're going PG-13 today. Some of you might need a parental consent form signed before taking this course in Interpersonal Theory and Implementation.

If you've had any sort of conversation with me over the last 20-30 years, then you know I'm all about philosophy and theory. And most of all, I love talking about relationships. Not just dating -- although that's been my forte for a couple decades and that's what we're focusing on today. So here are some theories (given with proper accredidation) that I think you'll enjoy. And please, oh please, please add some of your own.

The Three "P"s
This was originally proposed by Elder Dallin H. Oakes in May 2005 in a very popular talk I've heard dubbed the "close the cupboards" fireside or the "hanging out" talk. He suggested single adults stop "hanging out" and instead start dating. He said this brilliant description to those of us listening:

"Knowledgeable observers report that dating has nearly disappeared from college campuses and among young adults generally. It has been replaced by something called “hanging out”. You apparently know what this is, but I will describe it for the benefit of those of us who are middle-aged or older and otherwise uninformed.
Hanging out consists of numbers of young men and numbers of young women joining together in some group activity. It is very different from dating.
For the benefit of some of you who are not middle-aged or older, I also may need to describe what dating is. Unlike hanging out, dating is not a team sport. Dating is pairing off to experience the kind of one-on-one association and temporary commitment that can lead to marriage, in some rare and treasured cases."

He said that dating required the following three elements:

*Planned
*Paired off
*Paid for

The Other Three "P"s
This option was suggested to me by my friend Eileen. She created her own list of three P's -- naming the three requirements she had finally succumbed to when whittling down her list of what she wanted in a man to nearly nothing. Her 3 "P"s?

*Pulse
*Priesthood
*Penis

Successful note: Eileen is now married to a man who has all three

The Dating Gospel According to Micah
Micah and I tend to talk all the time about dating these days. He's been my long-distance dating guru of sorts. And also a great confidence booster reminding me that not only am I loved, but also that a non-committal hookup is just a five-hour plane ride away. Heart you Micah!

Like Eileen, he has also carefully crafted a list of necessities in his future spouse. His requirements:

*Someone I'm attracted to (physically, emotionally, intellectually, etc.)
*Someone I want to spend time with
*Someone I want to see naked (I refer to this as the "does not require a bag over his head when we're in the sack" clause -- or just someone I actually wanna get down with.)

Next, there are the theories of putting these desires into action. How does successful dating work?

1-1-1
This carefully-crafted dating technique is a clever twist on my ward's missionary program. The missionary program suggests we do the following:
Once a day, pray for a missionary experience
Once a week, have a discussion with a non-member about something church-related
Once a month, invite someone to a church-related activity

So a few of my girlfriends decided to tweak this and use it for their own needs. It goes a little something like this:
Once a day, pray for good dating experiences
Once a week, have a discussion with a dateable worthy priesthood holder
Once a month, go out on a date

I can guarantee you that this works! One of my girlfriends saw a difference in her own life right away! Three dates in a month -- and a boyfriend came out of it! And I have seen it succeed in my own life!

Four Necessary Questions
My friend, Belinda, from work reminds me of this every time I report another first date. These are questions she's come up with on her own, unfortunately from dating men who - had they shared this necessary information - she wouldn't have wasted a dime or time on them.

1. Are you married or have you ever been married?
2. Do you have any children?
3. Have you ever been in prison or are you currently wanted for any crimes? (As Belinda says, you never wanna hear the words, "No honey. We can't go to Canada. They're lookin' for me there...")
4. Have you ever been with or wanted to be with a man?

I suppose another good question would be "have you always been a man?" Just a thought.

Okay class. That's it for today's session.
Tomorrow we can cover success rates of putting the theories into action.
A small tease: 1-1-1 works for me!

Saturday, February 02, 2008