I've decided to do something I've never done before. It may seem small to you, but to me it's a fairly big step. So here goes the big announcement:
I am going to take only the required amount of courses this semester.
That's right. I'm not going to add an internship, audit a class or two, or take on any other "outside" responsibilities. I'm just going to do what I've been asked to do. And my elective is even relatively "easy" compared to other options.
Take note that I have never in my life chosen to do something like this before... something so seemingly "average." Yikes.
This new step is in an effort to be a little more forgiving of myself for not being perfect. My entire life has been spent exerting energy to go above and beyond. Whenever I complained that I didn't fit in, my mother reminded me that I "have always set myself apart from everyone." Very true.
I am well aware that I'm a chronic perfectionist. I'm sure it will always be my greatest strength and weakness. I grew up in a household where expectations for surviving and thriving ran high. I believe I learned early how to try and be the very best I could be and refused any less from myself.
I'm sure there are times that you, gentle reader, can remember when I have set what seemed to be an outrageous/impossible/crazy/stupid goal. Somehow I managed to accomplish it. I think setting goals is fantasic, but I also realize that I tend to be extremely hard on myself and don't allow myself to set standards within the realm of "normalcy." I mean, really... it took me several edits before feeling as if this post was structured to my satisfaction. And I tend to actually list "proper grammar" as a hobby.
In high school, I was absolutely horrible at team sports, but I excelled at anything that depended solely on my own success. I suppose I struggled when competing with others when I felt I could learn so much more by competing with myself. I've just always been much more interested in pushing myself as far as I can go instead of comparing my capabilities with someone else's.
So here I am, now competing against myself from what I would normally do. I believe the semester will be difficult enough, so I'm trying (for once) to avoid making things too much harder for myself.