Friday, May 09, 2008

Heartache, Healing... Joyous Feeling

I recently learned that a guy I was once interested in is now dating a former Playboy model. When I learned this, a particular set of words crossed my mind... words that have been recycling themselves whener I think about several past love interests or exes:

"Dodged that bullet"

I am so, so, so, so, so grateful for my life today. I'm grateful for the really great guys I dated and that they have made their lives into something great. I'm even grateful for those not-so-great ones.

But... I'm mostly grateful that in my many years of dating and boyfriends, that I'm not married to any of those guys. I learned so much through the joy, tears, and fears I felt over the years. They've been teachable moments and will help me be a better person in the long run.

Thank you Lord for that still small voice that has led me to where I am today.
Truly, I am grateful for the experience. Grateful for my past. My present. My future.

Maybe some of my exes will read this and wonder whether I look at them as a bullet I've dodged. I have no idea if any of them read this, and frankly I really don't care. So to the Universe, I send a message to those men -- thank you for who you are and were. I'm grateful for those times with you... but I'm so happy that I'm not dating you or married to you. I'm way more happy today. And I allowed a lot of misery in my life.
No more.
My future involves a better fit for me than you. And I'm sure yours involves someone better for you than I was.

Thank you for bliss and healing. For a better feeling. For detours and dealing with demons.
Today I feel free.