Saturday, May 31, 2008
Friday, May 30, 2008
Remembering Grandpa
My grandfather died last Saturday. While I obviously miss his venerable presence, I'm so grateful I knew him so well. He lived more than 100 years -- quite an amazing accomplishment. And he truly knew how to live.
I had scheduled a last-minute trip to Oregon to see him when he fell ill, but he died the day before my arrival. Luckily I was there for the funeral and to see the rest of the family.
Seeing my family and friends reminds me of the simple truth that I am likely the most blessed woman in the world.
The funeral was pleasant and simple.
I think my niece, Aubrey, stated it best about his funeral when she said with excitement, "We're having Grandpa's birthday party for life!!!!"
My sister-and-law and I thought that was quite clever for a five year old. "That's true!" we said!
"At least that's what Grandma told me!"
I think that's truly the right attitude.
I've linked this posting to some previous posts I've made about him. And here's my grandfather's obituary as it appeared in Salem, Oregon's Statesman Journal.
Lester Orion Packard 11/10/1907 - 05/24/2008
I had scheduled a last-minute trip to Oregon to see him when he fell ill, but he died the day before my arrival. Luckily I was there for the funeral and to see the rest of the family.
Seeing my family and friends reminds me of the simple truth that I am likely the most blessed woman in the world.
The funeral was pleasant and simple.
I think my niece, Aubrey, stated it best about his funeral when she said with excitement, "We're having Grandpa's birthday party for life!!!!"
My sister-and-law and I thought that was quite clever for a five year old. "That's true!" we said!
"At least that's what Grandma told me!"
I think that's truly the right attitude.
I've linked this posting to some previous posts I've made about him. And here's my grandfather's obituary as it appeared in Salem, Oregon's Statesman Journal.
Lester Orion Packard 11/10/1907 - 05/24/2008
KEIZER - Centenarian Lester Orion Packard died Saturday at Avamere Court at Keizer, surrounded by his family and devoted caregivers.
A native of Cameron., Mo., the 100-year-old adhered to the midwestern values he learned as a child: family loyalty, hard work, self-reliance and an appreciation for each and every day. Descended from the Mayflower pilgrims of Massachusetts and the colonists who established Jamestown, Va., in the 1600s, Mr. Packard's ancestors fought in the Revolutionary and Civil wars, rode for the Pony Express and settled America's western frontier. The Packard family still operates its Missouri farm, established in 1860, where Mr. Packard was born.
He was the youngest of four brothers and worked on the farm after he graduated from the University of Missouri in 1932. He married Ora Lois Wardell in 1934 and lived in Missouri, Tennessee and Illinois while employed by Swift & Co., which transferred Mr. Packard to Los Angeles in 1944. When he arrived with his wife, daughters Jane and Patricia, and $700, he discovered there was no place to live and for a time the family lived in a storefront.
Mr. Packard responded to the World War II housing shortage by teaching himself carpentry and building family homes in Temple City and Charter Oak, Calif., which are still occupied. He resided in the Covina area for 65 years, where he was a member of Covina Christian Church. Following the death of his wife, Ora Lois, in 1989, he married Garthy Earline Russell, a fellow church member.
Last year, Mr. Packard moved to Keizer to foster family ties: his daughter, Jane L. Slack and her husband, Donald live in Keizer. His daughter, Patricia M. Kelly resides in Manhattan Beach, Calif. Grandson, Craig Slack, his wife, Debrah, and two children reside in Boise, Idaho. Grandson, Keith Slack lives in Seattle, Wash.; and grandson, Darren Duricka, his wife, Rene', and six children live in Sherwood. Granddaughter, Lynne Slack lives in Monroe, Wash., and granddaughter, Tamara Duricka is from Portland and New York City.
Slack great-grandchildren residing in Boise, Idaho are Erik and Alex. Duricka great-grandchildren residing in Sherwood are Devin, Megan, Joshua, Aubrey, Steven and Samuel Packard (who was named for him). Extended family members are Willard and Pauline Grounds of Salem.
Mr. Packard quickly charmed the Avamere staff, and his caregivers each established a special rapport.
In lieu of flowers, donations in Mr. Packard's name may be sent to the scholarship program of the Oregon Health Care Foundation, 11740 SW 68th Parkway, Suite 250, Portland, OR 97223 or Willamette Valley Hospice, 1015 3rd St. NW., Salem, OR 97304.
Friday, May 23, 2008
Phasing Out Facebook
Have you become obsessed with Facebook? Were you once a cyberstalker via MySpace? Linkup? Friendster?
You can admit it.
I can't say I'm much into it these days. One site I used to check regularly now posts who's been checking out your profile. I have no hope to scope out people online, and I have no desire to search for people for no reason... Usually I just used the site to keep up with friends, but now none of us seems to use it anymore.
I've removed most of my applications from Facebook. And I now have like... 500 friends? Doesn't that seem a little over-the-top? Do I really need to update 500 people about my ever-changing relationship statii?
And what's the deal with our blogs, People? It seems like no one updates them regularly anymore. I know I don't. Sometimes I do in spurts, but I'm far from consistent. Are you actually keeping in touch the "old-fashioned" way?
No! Of course I don't mean "in person"... I mean gchat and text messaging.
Am I just getting... old? What's going on here?
You can admit it.
I can't say I'm much into it these days. One site I used to check regularly now posts who's been checking out your profile. I have no hope to scope out people online, and I have no desire to search for people for no reason... Usually I just used the site to keep up with friends, but now none of us seems to use it anymore.
I've removed most of my applications from Facebook. And I now have like... 500 friends? Doesn't that seem a little over-the-top? Do I really need to update 500 people about my ever-changing relationship statii?
And what's the deal with our blogs, People? It seems like no one updates them regularly anymore. I know I don't. Sometimes I do in spurts, but I'm far from consistent. Are you actually keeping in touch the "old-fashioned" way?
No! Of course I don't mean "in person"... I mean gchat and text messaging.
Am I just getting... old? What's going on here?
Thursday, May 15, 2008
The Future: Starring Me
So... I've been doing a lot of thinking lately (no surprise there I suppose). And I've also been setting up some new goals for myself. Many of them are fairly abstract but I have a clear vision of the path I need to take.
Everyday I read my friends' blogs. In fact, I kinda read them a lot. I spend my whole day at the computer and my mind functions in such a scattered way that I tend to bounce around from work, to cruising the web, to chatting, to planning my lesson, to work, to working on my grand new project, to paying my bills, to work.
This week's perusal of blogs led me to one from Emily P. and another from Rachel -- both are women who have my highest love and respect. Their ideas are pretty stellar and their writing is great too. Anyway, both women got me thinking a little more about some things that have been simmering in my mind as of late, both speaking of our futures and pasts.
Rachel posed a proper question -- how much of our past should we post?
Here's the response I left:
I choose not to publicize my past. I know I've talked with you a bit about my past choices that have led to current poor thinking about myself, but to be honest, I'm not so sure I really needed to discuss it.
The main reason lies within one word: Atonement.
If I truly believe that the Atonement makes me pure once again - granted, with some scars and struggles intact - then there really isn't much of a reason to discuss things that happened way back when.
Can my past be used as a tool to teach myself and others? OF COURSE! But if my reasoning to discuss things about what I've been through linger much further than that, then I'm only allowing my past life to define both my present and my future.
Personally, I really don't want to burden myself with my past anymore. I would prefer to look toward [the ideal "perfect woman" who doesn't have the same life I've lived].
You're correct.
I can never be that girl.
Nor do I want to be her.
I prefer to be me.
A more elevated me.
Someone who looks at my past with honesty and says, "that was then, this is now." I don't want to give up on my future as a better me.
I want to look at myself as a person without limitation for good and goodness.
I will say... it has taken me many, many, many years to feel this way. Many years! And lots of therapy! :) And lots and lots of personal understanding of how the Atonement really works in my life.
The Lord loves me for me. For the whole kit and kaboodle.
Rehashing my past just doesn't do me any good if it doesn't do me any good. Does that make sense? Plus, airing dirty laundry just seems unnecessary to me -- especially my own. Who's gonna look out for me looking my best and be treated best if I can't even do it for myself? ...
I'm just trying to avoid harping on my past. It just doesn't help me anymore. Plus, it tends to be a sign that I just haven't forgiven myself... and that I actually still look at myself through these broken and discolored lenses.
The Atonement has helped me see things a little more clearly.
Today I'm in a really good place. Yesterday... quite honestly, I was a bit angry and frustrated. I took in those feelings and examined them closely, seeking an honest understanding about why they brewed within me and whether they were ready and willing to leave. I allowed it to be part of the growing process.
I awoke this morning with a seemingly new approach to my life. I can't quite explain it. I woke up early with a bit of a plan for myself. I rushed into work early to get a head start on some ideas. This has been a good approach for me. And a really enlightening day.
I'm also realizing more and more how my life has been tethered to my past a bit more than needed. And although I'm more gentle with myself these days than before, I still have a lot more forgiving to do.
I'm also remembering that forgiving yourself starts with a genuine apology. So I'm making amends and looking toward a more loving future.
Everyday I read my friends' blogs. In fact, I kinda read them a lot. I spend my whole day at the computer and my mind functions in such a scattered way that I tend to bounce around from work, to cruising the web, to chatting, to planning my lesson, to work, to working on my grand new project, to paying my bills, to work.
This week's perusal of blogs led me to one from Emily P. and another from Rachel -- both are women who have my highest love and respect. Their ideas are pretty stellar and their writing is great too. Anyway, both women got me thinking a little more about some things that have been simmering in my mind as of late, both speaking of our futures and pasts.
Rachel posed a proper question -- how much of our past should we post?
Here's the response I left:
I choose not to publicize my past. I know I've talked with you a bit about my past choices that have led to current poor thinking about myself, but to be honest, I'm not so sure I really needed to discuss it.
The main reason lies within one word: Atonement.
If I truly believe that the Atonement makes me pure once again - granted, with some scars and struggles intact - then there really isn't much of a reason to discuss things that happened way back when.
Can my past be used as a tool to teach myself and others? OF COURSE! But if my reasoning to discuss things about what I've been through linger much further than that, then I'm only allowing my past life to define both my present and my future.
Personally, I really don't want to burden myself with my past anymore. I would prefer to look toward [the ideal "perfect woman" who doesn't have the same life I've lived].
You're correct.
I can never be that girl.
Nor do I want to be her.
I prefer to be me.
A more elevated me.
Someone who looks at my past with honesty and says, "that was then, this is now." I don't want to give up on my future as a better me.
I want to look at myself as a person without limitation for good and goodness.
I will say... it has taken me many, many, many years to feel this way. Many years! And lots of therapy! :) And lots and lots of personal understanding of how the Atonement really works in my life.
The Lord loves me for me. For the whole kit and kaboodle.
Rehashing my past just doesn't do me any good if it doesn't do me any good. Does that make sense? Plus, airing dirty laundry just seems unnecessary to me -- especially my own. Who's gonna look out for me looking my best and be treated best if I can't even do it for myself? ...
I'm just trying to avoid harping on my past. It just doesn't help me anymore. Plus, it tends to be a sign that I just haven't forgiven myself... and that I actually still look at myself through these broken and discolored lenses.
The Atonement has helped me see things a little more clearly.
Today I'm in a really good place. Yesterday... quite honestly, I was a bit angry and frustrated. I took in those feelings and examined them closely, seeking an honest understanding about why they brewed within me and whether they were ready and willing to leave. I allowed it to be part of the growing process.
I awoke this morning with a seemingly new approach to my life. I can't quite explain it. I woke up early with a bit of a plan for myself. I rushed into work early to get a head start on some ideas. This has been a good approach for me. And a really enlightening day.
I'm also realizing more and more how my life has been tethered to my past a bit more than needed. And although I'm more gentle with myself these days than before, I still have a lot more forgiving to do.
I'm also remembering that forgiving yourself starts with a genuine apology. So I'm making amends and looking toward a more loving future.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Maybe this is referring to me...?
"Sometimes those who start out the slowest end up going the farthest."
-Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin
-Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin
Oh Portland
I think it's my friend Amber who refers to the friends she made in Portland a few years ago as the "happy little leprechaun" types. I can't quite explain it, but there is something about the group of friends I made there that is really special to me.
Maybe it's because Portland is a place where I really felt at home.
Maybe it has something to with the fact my family was so close by.
Maybe it's because I planted some roots and really became a "grown up."
Maybe because it's the time where I learned to move on from my past.
Maybe it's because I loved where I worked and the people there.
Maybe because I really invested in my testimony of the gospel.
Or maybe just because I was really, really blessed to be there.
Whatever the reason, I'm so grateful for those times and for the friendships I developed. A lot of my friends have dispersed across the world. And some others are heading back!
In the meantime, I'm just glad that my happy little home in Harlem allows me to access those friends through the phone and the internet.
And I've been given the lovely bonus blessing of good friends here. My New York pals are so neat and sweet! I've met a great group of people and I'm so glad for all the friends I make no matter where my feet land.
Today I feel really blessed.
Maybe it's because Portland is a place where I really felt at home.
Maybe it has something to with the fact my family was so close by.
Maybe it's because I planted some roots and really became a "grown up."
Maybe because it's the time where I learned to move on from my past.
Maybe it's because I loved where I worked and the people there.
Maybe because I really invested in my testimony of the gospel.
Or maybe just because I was really, really blessed to be there.
Whatever the reason, I'm so grateful for those times and for the friendships I developed. A lot of my friends have dispersed across the world. And some others are heading back!
In the meantime, I'm just glad that my happy little home in Harlem allows me to access those friends through the phone and the internet.
And I've been given the lovely bonus blessing of good friends here. My New York pals are so neat and sweet! I've met a great group of people and I'm so glad for all the friends I make no matter where my feet land.
Today I feel really blessed.
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Journalism
I find it funny that I spend all day researching and writing about the affairs of the present... yet I've wasted so much time mulling over the past and worrying about the future.
Friday, May 09, 2008
Heartache, Healing... Joyous Feeling
I recently learned that a guy I was once interested in is now dating a former Playboy model. When I learned this, a particular set of words crossed my mind... words that have been recycling themselves whener I think about several past love interests or exes:
"Dodged that bullet"
I am so, so, so, so, so grateful for my life today. I'm grateful for the really great guys I dated and that they have made their lives into something great. I'm even grateful for those not-so-great ones.
But... I'm mostly grateful that in my many years of dating and boyfriends, that I'm not married to any of those guys. I learned so much through the joy, tears, and fears I felt over the years. They've been teachable moments and will help me be a better person in the long run.
Thank you Lord for that still small voice that has led me to where I am today.
Truly, I am grateful for the experience. Grateful for my past. My present. My future.
Maybe some of my exes will read this and wonder whether I look at them as a bullet I've dodged. I have no idea if any of them read this, and frankly I really don't care. So to the Universe, I send a message to those men -- thank you for who you are and were. I'm grateful for those times with you... but I'm so happy that I'm not dating you or married to you. I'm way more happy today. And I allowed a lot of misery in my life.
No more.
My future involves a better fit for me than you. And I'm sure yours involves someone better for you than I was.
Thank you for bliss and healing. For a better feeling. For detours and dealing with demons.
Today I feel free.
"Dodged that bullet"
I am so, so, so, so, so grateful for my life today. I'm grateful for the really great guys I dated and that they have made their lives into something great. I'm even grateful for those not-so-great ones.
But... I'm mostly grateful that in my many years of dating and boyfriends, that I'm not married to any of those guys. I learned so much through the joy, tears, and fears I felt over the years. They've been teachable moments and will help me be a better person in the long run.
Thank you Lord for that still small voice that has led me to where I am today.
Truly, I am grateful for the experience. Grateful for my past. My present. My future.
Maybe some of my exes will read this and wonder whether I look at them as a bullet I've dodged. I have no idea if any of them read this, and frankly I really don't care. So to the Universe, I send a message to those men -- thank you for who you are and were. I'm grateful for those times with you... but I'm so happy that I'm not dating you or married to you. I'm way more happy today. And I allowed a lot of misery in my life.
No more.
My future involves a better fit for me than you. And I'm sure yours involves someone better for you than I was.
Thank you for bliss and healing. For a better feeling. For detours and dealing with demons.
Today I feel free.
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
My Life
...is pretty rad.
I don't mean to say that to brag or anything. I'm just really happy with my life, in general. Even with its trials, obstacles, upsets, losses... I'm grateful for the story I've been writing for myself.
I tend to make some major revisions of how I want things to go in the next chapter. And I think that's pretty great that I can do that.
I'm working on another new adventure right now and I expect it to turn out to be a goodie. Can't wait!
Are you grateful for your story today?
I don't mean to say that to brag or anything. I'm just really happy with my life, in general. Even with its trials, obstacles, upsets, losses... I'm grateful for the story I've been writing for myself.
I tend to make some major revisions of how I want things to go in the next chapter. And I think that's pretty great that I can do that.
I'm working on another new adventure right now and I expect it to turn out to be a goodie. Can't wait!
Are you grateful for your story today?
Tuesday, May 06, 2008
Won't You Be My Neighbor?
If you've worked with me, then you know that I don't really like to wear shoes; I prefer to walk barefoot or in slippers. At my last tv station, I was often referred to as "Slipper Girl" from time to time. And I received several pairs of pink fluffy footies from my Secret Santa.
I still hold true to this personal credo that I should feel fully functional and comfortable at work -- therefore slippers are the way to go for me.
I also tend to get really cold fairly easily, so I always have some sort of sweater, hoodie, or jacket to wear.
Yes, much like Mr. Rogers, I enter my office, take off my shoes, slide on my slippers, and don my sweater. So today I give a shout-out to the trend-setter who I remember fondly.
Thanks for setting a precedent.
Good job.
Saturday, May 03, 2008
Friday, May 02, 2008
Moving Day!
8:00 -- I head to pick up Beth from her temporary housing. We drive to her place and wait for the movers. We were expecting two trucks. The first truck was supposed to arrive between 8:30 and 10:30... with all of our stuff from Portland.
The second truck was supposed to arrive at 9:30 to pack up just my stuff and bring it to my place.
10:30 -- still waiting for the movers.
Beth kept calling her people. Busy signal.
I kept calling my people. No answer. Finally I check my email. The movers had emailed saying they weren't coming.
WHAT?!?!?!?!
Quick phone calls to people off of Craigslist. I find some guys. They can be there within the hour.
11:00 -- Beth's movers arrive!!!
I stay down on the street making sure everything gets out of the truck okay. All of my stuff sits on the curb. (I can't believe it's no longer in my garage!!!)
Beth makes sure everything gets in safely upstairs... including her couch, which somehow fit through the little hallway.
(Can you see her peeking out the window??)
11:30 -- My guys show up. They get my stuff off the curb and pack it up. They get lost and can't speak English.
12:00 -- After much confusion, my stuff gets home.
I forgot to take the pic of stuff in my place.
Maybe that'll appear tomorrow... Maybe not.
The second truck was supposed to arrive at 9:30 to pack up just my stuff and bring it to my place.
10:30 -- still waiting for the movers.
Beth kept calling her people. Busy signal.
I kept calling my people. No answer. Finally I check my email. The movers had emailed saying they weren't coming.
WHAT?!?!?!?!
Quick phone calls to people off of Craigslist. I find some guys. They can be there within the hour.
11:00 -- Beth's movers arrive!!!
I stay down on the street making sure everything gets out of the truck okay. All of my stuff sits on the curb. (I can't believe it's no longer in my garage!!!)
Beth makes sure everything gets in safely upstairs... including her couch, which somehow fit through the little hallway.
(Can you see her peeking out the window??)
11:30 -- My guys show up. They get my stuff off the curb and pack it up. They get lost and can't speak English.
12:00 -- After much confusion, my stuff gets home.
I forgot to take the pic of stuff in my place.
Maybe that'll appear tomorrow... Maybe not.
Thank You Rachel...
*for long walks and girl talk
*for visits to Chef Brown to get cupcakes
*for sleepovers that bring me back to 5th grade
*for suffering through allergies and hanging with me anyway
*for just being you
First Wife loves you!
:)
Thursday, May 01, 2008
Neck-In-Neck
Wow.
I love that the blog poll is totally reflective of the Obama-Hillary race. Thank you so much for your input everyone. I suppose I should have put a fourth option, "keep things as-is." But I'm so, so, so glad that someone voted for "your blog sucks." :) I love it!!!
I still haven't decided what to do, but I totally love the feedback.
I guess I should mention, if I do go private, those of you on my links will be automatic invites. Or if you are among the following:
*my boyfriend
*my best friends
*my family
*and that includes -- my mother
Yes, my mom actually sent me an email saying that she is a regular reader of my blog and would like to be added to the list of invitees.
How hilarious is that?!
You rock Mom!
I love that the blog poll is totally reflective of the Obama-Hillary race. Thank you so much for your input everyone. I suppose I should have put a fourth option, "keep things as-is." But I'm so, so, so glad that someone voted for "your blog sucks." :) I love it!!!
I still haven't decided what to do, but I totally love the feedback.
I guess I should mention, if I do go private, those of you on my links will be automatic invites. Or if you are among the following:
*my boyfriend
*my best friends
*my family
*and that includes -- my mother
Yes, my mom actually sent me an email saying that she is a regular reader of my blog and would like to be added to the list of invitees.
How hilarious is that?!
You rock Mom!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)